I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
