were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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