Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
