You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
