The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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