i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
