I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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