I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
