Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
