12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
