He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
