This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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