I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
