This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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