lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
