Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
