There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
