his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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