3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
