Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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