Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
