I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
