I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
