Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
