Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize