i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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