Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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