You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
