I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
