did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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