What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
