Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
