Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
