I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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