ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
