Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
