PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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