well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
