i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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