Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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