just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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