she kept yelling 'call me bella'
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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