evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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