these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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