i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize