chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
