Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
