I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Alive.
So much puke
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
