Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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