We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
