shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
