handjob tips. give me some.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
