after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize