was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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