You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
