we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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