i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
